it's been years of drifting endlessly in dark
a lifeline of memories i ripped it all apart
it broke at the seam; i pulled at the thread
i rearranged the panels just to keep my head
above the surface of this cold and lonely sea
the fabric swallows me; i slip into the fringe
my doubt and guilt sinks in
have i made enough? am i worth enough?
can say i was alive? or did i give up inside
can i pull myself out from these heavy
layers of interwoven textiles
there's yards and yards and miles and miles
of deep dark blacks and blues
the tide saturates hues
the colors are muted; simply muted
it takes time to readjust but i don't have quite enough
patience to let my eyes soak in the lack of light
so all i see is barren landscape; my progress washed away in the waves
it feels like i'm going nowhere
in the mean time i will drift
i'll wait for the tide to recede; i'll wait for the fog to lift
in due time it will seem
like the sea varies in sizes as i drift between my dreams
it's been years of drifting endlessly in dark
a black hole entire; beautiful from afar
distant in many ways; a vague entity
bend light into an arch and pull it into me
and crush it into oblivion; something unrecognizable
then i'll pick up the shattered fragments and pile it into
something more sizable for me to analyze
and dwell on gravity
it's so hard to escape my own intensity
i don't mean to destroy; i don't mean to exist
but the nature of being is something that i fight with my own fists
but i'm learning; slowly learning to reach beyond my horizon
but it feels like i'm going nowhere
in the mean time i still drift
i'll wait for the tide to recede; i'll wait for the fog to lift
in due time it will seem
like the sea varies in sizes as i drift between my dreams
it'll be fine i will say
i'll repeat it over and over cause these feelings do not fade
from my mind they remain
and i'll sort and process it slowly cause these patterns do not change
it's been years of drifting endlessly in dark
when will this vacuum end; when did it start?
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